“Man up” -KG
my 1 st semester in seminary came to an end and I told some people about my
finals week. On one night I was studying hard for two finals early the next
morning. It was getting late and all of a sudden my chest started hurting so I decided to stop and rest. While in bed, I woke up with intense pain in
my stomache and chest. When I got up
from my bed I vomited all over the place. I sat on the floor having difficulty breathing
so went outside to walk it off. I ended
up jogging around my apartment complex. Back
at the apartment, I wanted to lie down to sleep but when I did the burn of surging vomit rose to my throat. So
I sat in my chair and slept a few hours before having to head out.
Thank God, I took both finals and did very well. But there was no time to rest, I had to study
for my next final. My roommate was finished
with all of his finals. Thankfully, he
tried motivate me to finish strong so he stayed up to read with me. But I felt so ready to just stop.
I was telling Dr. Peng about this… He encouraged me, never
to complain about those experiences and to never give in to the idea of quitting.
He went on to comment about the notion
of being “burnt out.” Being “burnt out”
simply means that you’ve had about enough and you don’t want to do anything
right now. But with a disturbed looked on his face, Dr. Peng
said, “why?? You have God. There should be no such thing as “burnt out.”
- this coming from
Dr. Peng was a huge challenge to me. Here
is a man who is extremely disciplined and models the Christian work ethic. He has consecrated his labor unto God and for
the benefit of his community. He understands that things are difficult, but why burnt out?
now, thinking about walking with the Lord, engaging in his work, does "burn-outs" make sense?
On my pastor’s desk, it reads, "If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out, Then how
can you compete with horses? If you fall down in a land of peace, How will you
do in the thicket of the Jordan?
~ Jeremiah 12:5
Basically, If you grow tired and out
with lesser trials and feel like quitting, what would you do when the battle gets
even harder? Are you ready for tougher trials?
In chapter 11, The men of Anathoth were plotting to kill Jeremiah, to remember
him no more. Was this the lesser trial
that Jeremiah faced? What does that make
my trials?
Chapter 12:6 adds that even his brothers
and father have dealt treacherously with Jeremiah. They might say nice things to him, but only in
deceit. Jeremiah will be tried for his life, humiliated,
and many times he will weep.
I am so young, I haven’t experienced anything remotely close to the trials
and hardships that older men have gone through. What’s more, most of my hardships thus far
have been results of my own stupidity and selfishness. Over the
past few months I’ve been very distraught over my sins because they are so many
and so repetitive. My sins are so
foolish and so real. I repent of them in
tears, but resolve in my heart…
I shall not stop seeking his face, and I will not loose sight of His work
because of school, relationships, or even
my own weakness.
Is it prideful to determine in my heart, “I will put away childish and
filthy things.” ; To say, “God, I will listen, I will read your Word and follow
what you say.” Should I not say these
things because it is prideful to say so? Or rather, have I not said it enough because of the pride
in my heart? I do realize that I’ve
said big words before and they have amounted to nothing. What I determine by the flesh will come to
ruin in the flesh.
But This, I know God has called me to do, and he has given all
provision to do so… he said love me with all your heart, mind and soul. …
I will, God. I will!
Heb 12:3-4
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so
that you will not grow weary and lose heart.4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to
the point of shedding your blood.
2 Tim 2:3
Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.
Heb 10:35-36
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly
rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised. 1 Cor 15:58
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move
you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know
that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
1 Cor 1:8
He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be
blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Mark 13:13
All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm
to the end will be saved.
Rev 14:12
This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints
who obey God's commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.
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